Week 6 College Football Pool Commentary

Comparing the Top 25 College Football Poll to Television Personalities

Oklahoma – You are Penny from The Big Bang Theory. You’re not necessarily the hottest person in television history, but you’re hot enough. The reason you seem a lot hotter than you actually might be is because there isn’t any other female on the show and you spend your time lording over pushovers.

Missouri – You are David Silver in the second year of 90210. A short time ago, nobody wanted to be seen with you because you were a huge loser who was strictly known for his dancing prowess. Suddenly, you are popular and hanging out with the coolest people in school. However, it is likely a charade and a character built on such a weak foundation will never be the main attraction.

LSU – You are Jack Bauer from 24. You are pretty much the baddest man on the planet at this moment. Everyone wishes they could be as cool as you and you manage to scare the hell out of anyone in your path. You are loved, respected, feared and incredibly unpredictable…and you’ve been incredibly and unusually luck over the past year.

Alabama – You are Dr. McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy last year. A year before, you weren’t a big deal at all and nobody would’ve looked your way if your name was mentioned. Now, you show up and completely destroy other people’s lives, making you incredibly popular with the audience. You are still very mistake prone and have the potential to make bad decisions, but at this point you get a lot of recognition for your ability to score big.

Texas – You are Brian Griffin from Family Guy. Though you are extremely good at what you do, you are somewhat forgotten this year due to the attention placed on Peter and Stewie. While you manage to get your name in the discussion for being a key cog of the show, you are clearly destined to be overshadowed by the quality of the other characters.

Penn State – You are Ryan Atwood of The O.C. You have a hard time staying out of trouble because you will inevitably break the law and pay some consequences, whether it is a school suspension or a stint in jail. All this considered, you have tremendous upside and unrecognized talents.

Texas Tech – You are Steve Sanders of 90210. You have plenty of great plans and are quite flashy while you sport all of the latest and greatest toys. You have plenty of master plans and designs on doing something big, but all of these plans inevitably fall through because your scheme is fundamentally flawed from the beginning and you have very little substance.

BYU - You are Lauren Conrad of The Hills. Not one person has any idea why in the world you are famous. You are a true product of the media’s creation that anyone can be famous these days without having actually done anything.

USC - You are Marissa Cooper of The O.C. You are smokin’ hot and rich…there is no reason in the world why you shouldn’t create your own good fate. Yet, you are unbelievably naïve and you inevitably make one big mistake at least once a year and end up underachieving…only to be everyone’s darling and main attraction at the beginning of the next season.

Georgia – You are Dylan McKay of 90210. You have a storied past of ups and downs and a big bank roll to play with. You have an excellent surrogate father figure in Jim Walsh who presides over your trust. However, you lack discipline and your rebellious side and alcoholic tendencies will get the best of you at least once a year. When you succumb to this power, you have at least one random episode where you hit rock bottom…only to be forgotten the following week.

Ohio State – You are Kramer from Seinfeld. Sure, you’re kind of funny in an obvious sort of way. But, to the trained eye you are not anywhere close to being the funniest guy on the show…George Costanza. You continue to get by with the media based on reputation alone, but to true comedy experts watching year after year, they know you’re really not all that funny.

Florida – You are Brenda Walsh from 90210. You are nothing but an incredible bitch who everyone wants to see kicked off the show, never to return again.

Utah – You are Paula Abdul from American Idol. Nobody is really sure why you are on the show. You never had any singing talent and although you had a couple of hit singles a long time ago, you have no real reason to be thought of as a credible person.

Vanderbilt – You are Tila Tequila from A Shot at Love. You’re having a nice little run at fame and fortune because you were in the right place at the right time. You’re enjoying yourself and riding this wave of stardom, but your five minutes are going to quickly come to an end and you will soon be forgotten.

Kansas – You are Mario Lopez from Dancing with the Stars. You are showing the world some of the talents that few knew you possessed. But even with all the dancing ability you have, you’ll always be known for your trademark role as A.C. Slater.

Boise State – You are Andrea Zuckerman from 90210. You are the official wet blanket of every season. Not one person will ever want to see you be the feature topic of any episode or season. Yet, you continue to somehow work your way into interesting story plots every year. If you did everyone the favor of getting written off the show, other, more deserving characters would have an opportunity to flourish.

Oklahoma State - You are CT from The Real World / Road Rules Challenge. You scare the hell out of everyone when it comes to challenges and nobody really wants to go up against you because they see your ability against lesser opponents. However, you inevitably blow your big chances because you’re a complete idiot and sabotage your own opportunities.

Virginia Tech – You are Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights. Completely unpredictable with a nasty attitude. You might show up for a game, but you would just as soon blow it off and get arrested for various misdemeanors. You do not have a true father figure and that is why you lack discipline.

Michigan State – You are Christine from The New Adventures of Old Christine. You were a big deal when you were on Seinfeld. You are trying to rejuvenate your career but people will only remember you as Elaine on Seinfeld. You’ll continue to get enough ratings to stay afloat, but you will wander aimlessly through television mediocrity.

South Florida – You are Ryan Seacrest from anything Ryan Seacrest hosts. You came from nowhere years ago and have built up a big name for yourself. You are generally respected by television pundits, but you have not really done anything of significance other than host chick shows on a cheesy network.

Wake Forest – You are MacGyver from MacGyver. You are incredibly resourceful and have a knack for getting out of trouble week in and week out. Though you are not the most physically gifted person on the planet, your intelligence creates problems for others. Every time you sense you are up against a stronger opponent, your opponent underestimates you and you avert disaster with a sneaky strategy.

Northwestern – You are Ben Geller (Ross’s Son) from Friends. You have no part of the show whatsoever and they only write you into the storyline when it is incredibly convenient.

Auburn – You are Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell. Not everyone is a fan of you, but everyone knows exactly what to expect from you every year…you are consistent. Suddenly, you hire a new agent and take your career in a different direction where you want to play the lead in a “movie” about a Las Vegas Showgirl. Sadly, the experiment is a catastrophic failure and you wish you had never abandoned the previous career path.

Wisconsin – You are Robert from Everybody Loves Raymond. You are big and you are an oaf. You’re slow, lazy and you get a kick out of watching others fail so you can feel better about your own life. At the same time, you do nothing to help yourself when given ample opportunity.

California – You are Wayne Arnold from The Wonder Years. You take pride in bullying smaller, lesser kids from the neighborhood. This arrogance leads you to grow overconfident and pick on a smaller kid from a different neighborhood, where you get you’re a** kicked.